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Saturday, May 23, 2009

MIA

It has been awhile since I have updated. There has just been an awful lot going on.

Last week, I had my first overnight business trip since HK has joined the family. I knew she would be all right, I knew that Justin would be okay, and I thought that I would be fine. Well, I did manage to make it through the one night I was gone without hysteria, but I actually did think a few times that I was going to have a full on panic attack. I was NOT expecting that at all-I really thought I would be ok, but I will admit that I was a little sad and panicked at being away from home.

So, the next week, I have my next overnight, but this time I am gone for 2 nights. Everything is going much smoother, until I swell up like a hot air balloon. Let me back up-I have been swelling for the past week and a half to two weeks, but I am just chalking it up to the fact that I have come off of prednisone and it is a reaction. Well, I called my doc from out of town just to see if I can get an appointment for the end of the week when I am home again. The doc FREAKS out and tells me to get to an urgent care clinic immediately. So, I proceed to go to an urgent care clinic, and they would not touch me-told me to go directly to the ER. OK-what in the heck???

So, I drive all the way home to Nashville and go directly to Vanderbilt ER. Justin meets me. They take me to triage and take my blood pressure-it is 160/103. Seriously. Not kidding.

The nurse puts that little plastic tube thing in my vein so they don't have to keep sticking me (typing this is actually making my body hurt at the thought of it). I kind of start to panic about the whole idea of the needles and the tubes, so my nurse reverts to her Peds (yes, as in pediatrics) schpeel...she tells me, "honey, it is all right. I am just going to put a magic straw in your arm!" Now really, unless that magic straw is connected to some magic White Zin, I want nothing to do with your magic straw business.

After 7 hours at the ER, and blood tests, which I am NOT.A.FAN.OF.NEEDLES.AT.ALL, I am ok. All the tests came back fine. They do think that it is a side effect of the prednisone because all of this started when I ended the meds. I will live to see another day.

I will be honest here-I would not have even gone to the doctor had it not been for something a man said to me as I was debating what to do regarding my cankles. We had just been talking about kids, and I had told him that I had a 4 month old little girl. He looked at me and said, "You need to call the doctor and do what the doctor tells you to do. It is not about you anymore. You have someone else to think about now-you have a little girl who needs her mother to be ok and be there. You have to make sure that you are all right. She is depending on you." Wow. That is some food for thought. This is a whole new ball game.

So, as I am typing this, my hubby, my mom-in-law and my dad-in-law are working in the front yard-weeding, mulching, trimming...For Justin's birthday, they gave him a day of yard work. He actually took them up on it. So, I should feel guilty about sitting here while they all slave outside in the heat. However, when Justin and I got a house, we made a pact that the inside is mine and the outside is his. And, this is his gift-this is between him and his parents. This has NOTHING to do with me. I just get the cold waters when requested, and I did make hot dogs, pasta salad, and grapes for lunch. Ah-but doctor's orders-I must keep my feet up!

Wednesday, May 6, 2009

Before I Was A Mom

Someone sent this to me today, and I wanted to share it with all the wonderful moms out there. Happy early Mother's Day!!!!


Before I was a Mom,
I never tripped over toys or forgot words to a lullaby.
I didn't worry whether or not my plants were poisonous.
I never thought about immunizations.

Before I was a Mom,
I had never been puked on. Pooped on. Chewed on. Peed on.
I had complete control of my mind and my thoughts. I slept all night.

Before I was a Mom,
I never held down a screaming child so doctors could do tests. Or give shots.
I never looked into teary eyes and cried.
I never got gloriously happy over a simple grin.
I never sat up late hours at night watching a baby sleep.

Before I was a Mom,
I never held a sleeping baby just because I didn't want to put her down.
I never felt my heart break into a million pieces when I couldn't stop the hurt.
I never knew that something so small could affect my life so much.
I never knew that I could love someone so much.
I never knew I would love being a Mom.

Before I was a Mom,
I didn't know the feeling of having my heart outside my body.
I didn't know how special it could feel to feed a hungry baby.
I didn't know that bond between a mother and her child.
I didn't know that something so small could make me feel so important and happy.

Before I was a Mom,
I had never gotten up in the middle of the night every 10 minutes to make sure all was okay.
I had never known the warmth, the joy, the love, the heartache, the wonderment or the satisfaction of being a Mom.
I didn't know I was capable of feeling so much...
before I was a Mom .

Sunday, May 3, 2009

How Motherhood Changes You

We have all been sick for the past 2 weeks. YES-2 weeks. I have blown through-literally-boxes of tissues. Poor little HK is still stuffy. Justin did not run the marathon because of this lingering illness. Woe is me-I am tired of being ill. It is just a good thing that this whole pig sickness thing was not happening 2 weeks ago or I would have been convinced that we were swine flu victims.

So, we had our first outing yesterday evening since we have been house-bound for almost two weeks. Yes-we went to the mall. Parenthood sure does change things. We are getting ready to leave, and Justin tells HK that we are off to mom's old stomping grounds. I turn and look at him-I am truly perplexed. I am thinking, "We are making a stop at the bars?" I look at Justin and ask him what he is talking about. He says, "The mall." I responded, "Oh-I thought you meant that we were taking HK to a bar, and I was wondering when the plans changed." For the record, I was also thinking that I am NOT going to take her to a bar. This is a true story. Sad isn't it?

Then we are walking through the mall, and Justin says, "Where are you going to be? I need to run to the bathroom." My response? "Is it poop or pee?" Yes, these words just came out of my mouth before I realized what I was saying. He just looked at me and said, "OK-I am not HK, but if you must know, it is pee." Seriously, since when do I care about the specifics of his bodily functions? I don't now and I didn't before-it was just this new mom inbred response thing.

Oh-the joys of motherhood.