I sometimes hate to call myself out on my blonde moments, but sometimes I just cannot help it. Sometimes I am just funny.
So, on Sunday I am heading to the parents house with HK in tow to swim. I am listening to NASCAR radio-which in itself is absolutely hysterical. I am a girly girl to the max, but I have lately become a redneck girly girl because I have found a sport to follow (other that UT football, of course). My blood truly runneth orange, but my hubby and I attended a live NASCAR race a few years ago. I won a trip with my company that was called "Race to Vegas." Part of this package was the NASCAR race. I swore that I would not go-I mean, seriously, racing? Rubbin' is racin'? But, I had to go-I had customers to entertain.
So, we get on our private shuttle bus and make the trek to the racetrack while watching a behind the scenes NASCAR video. We arrive and are escorted to our private tent with a full buffet and open bar. Then, we make our way to the track with our pit passes...needless to say, it was quite the experience for a first-timer. After watching the race, listening on our headsets to the radio communications, and enjoying some beverages, I was a fan. In fact, Justin took me to a race for our anniversary a few years ago. So, I have become quite the redneck. Or, to make it more applicable to me, let's call it a pink neck.
So, back to my original blonde moment...On NASCAR radio, they are interviewing one of the drivers. They are talking about all of the high profile deaths last week-Farrah, Michael, Ed.... They are talking about the death of the day-a pitchman named Billy Mays. The driver comments that it has been such a sad week with the world losing all of these people.
I come in, thinking I have fresh gossip. I tell mom and dad that some baseball player just died-a Billy Mays. Mom says, "You mean Willie Mays?" I respond, "I thought he said Billy Mays? A pitcher??" Dad just kind of shrugs-he doesn't follow much baseball.
Two days later, I realize that it is the Oxiclean/Orange Glo/Kaboom guy. He is a PITCHMAN, not a PITCHER...simple mistake.
I have to laugh. I have been complaining-loudly-about all of the weight that I have put on. I can only blame prednisone for so long. Apparently Justin has had enough. He is tired of listening to me, or so he says. I cannot imagine why he wouldn't want to hear me moan about being fat or help me put on spanx and yummie tummies. But, he says that he has put on a little, too. So, he thinks we should go to the mall to get some summer shorts that we can actually wear comfortably.
So, off we go. A shopping we will go......
Justin is not much of a shopper. He keeps disappearing in stores. As I search around, I discover a trend. If there is a chair, he is in it. If there is not a chair, find a ledge or even the front display window. There he sits, with a stroller in front of him. To his credit, he is not complaining. One of my favorite things about Justin is that he tries to help me shop. At least for a little while. Then he is over it.
But, on this day, he is doing pretty well. He is being a sport of a shopper for longer than usual. We have been to Dillards and Everything But Water to find bathing suits. Now we are hitting Gap for some shorts. I am searching around the store for some I like, and then I am searching for Justin to tell him that I am hitting the dressing room. I find him perched in the front display window. Justin, a stroller and mannequins.
He says, "Hey, hey...look over there. Those skirts." I think that he likes the skirts, so I look at them. I mean, if he is going to encourage me to purchase, I might as well entertain the idea. So, I look-nothing big. Not really interested. After all, I am turning over a new leaf-a thrifty leaf if you will. I am here for shorts, not skirts I don't need. I turn back around to tell him I will pass, and he is motioning and mouthing something. I step closer and he is saying, "You know Liz, because they are elastic." The word elastic is barely audible. He more mouths it than says it. "It would be comfortable." He looks so serious-like he is trying to help me but not let the others in the store hear him.
I could hardly contain my laughter as I made my way to the dressing room. I should have been offended. But, God love him-he has listened to me b-i-t-c-h for so long that he is even looking for items that will make me NOT bitch. And, all my complaining has conditioned him to look for clothes that are not form fitting. I really love this guy.
So, after I bought some shorts, I had to comfort myself with some gelato. Woe is me-let the diet begin! Again!
I just celebrated my 29th birthday (again), and I got some of the COOLEST gifts this year! My birthday was actually a few weeks ago, but I have been so busy that I have not had time to grace you all with my presence. See, God Love all of you for putting up with me!
Back to my gifts, though. I really got some unique stuff this year. First of all, I have a Canon Rebel camera. It came with a lens. Apparently it was just a regular ole lens because I have discovered that there are lots of fun things you can buy to accessorize your camera. My sweet hubby got me a new lens-it zooms really far and takes the best pictures. I am becoming quite the photographer! So, I think I now have to start a lens collection of sorts. I had no idea how much fun camera accessories could be!
And, as we all know because I have complained about it unrelentingly, I have put on a few pounds. So, I got a Yummie Tummie. It is a tank top shaper that gets rid of the dreaded muffin top. Coolest thing ever! It comes in tees, tanks, camis, tube tops, and even a nursing tee. I got the "Freedom" design because it has a built in shelf bra. Really-between the yummie tummie and spanx, I am certain to pass out from lack of oxygen eventually. But really, the Yummie Tummie is quite comfortable. Check them out http://www.yummietummie.com/
And-the coolest of the cool present award goes to my mom. She got me a Kameleon ring. The kameleon line is basically interchangeable jewelry. The center pops out, and you purchase what they call the "jewelry pops" and replace the center of the setting. Wallah-a whole new piece of jewelry! LOVE IT!!!!! You can investigate this pure genious at http://www.kameleonjewelry.com/index.php
I am so blessed to be surrounded by such great gift givers! I got other fun things-a new party tub that we can fill with ice and put drinks in for guests, some gold earrings from my brother, and the most adorable wine glass that is hand painted with "Mom" on it! It is perfect for my cheap wine! Now, I will have to chill my wine in the party tub, drink it out of my Mom glass, and wear my Yummie Tummie and Kameleon ring so I look cool while doing it! Someone-grab the camera!
It's just me-and all of my idiosyncrasies. I work full time, I am married, and I love my dog. We just adopted a baby girl. I am completely contradictory, I am a girlie girl, and I am impatient. I like breakfast for dinner. I like apples and peanut butter. I like wine. I like entertaining. I like sleeping. I like labels and I can be a b-with an-itch when I want to be or am pushed. I want to give my baby every opportunity in the world, and I want to teach her values and the rewards of hard work. I want more children and am scared to death of the uncertainties of adoption even though I have already done it. I love my husband. I hate that I weigh the most I ever have in my whole life. I want my husband to make a zillion dollars a year, and I want him to put up his laundry and clothes when I ask. I want what most people want-and here is my story-day by day!