So, there are lots of lessons that I am learning. My best one today you ask? I need another degree in order to figure out the snaps on these stupid footed onsie things. Seriously-I actually had to call hubby in to help me. And, it was the middle of the day and I was wide awake, so you can imagine when it is 2 am...thank goodness babies cannot repeat words yet.
I was thinking this evening about all of the worrying, about the whole process we have been through. Thank goodness there were some laughs along the way to lighten the mood. The ones that make me laugh still:
My dear 86 year old Granny calls me. Now, keep in mind that she lives with my parents and has lots of time on her hands to worry and create things to worry about. To make matters worse, she watches (really listens-she is blind) CNN all day - otherwise known as the most uplifting channel on the air (yes, that is sarcasm). So, she hears about all of these children that are being taken from cults in the western US. They are being placed in foster homes, etc. She calls me; we chat. Then she says, "Now Elizabeth, I want to talk to you about something..." Wow, must be serious. She proceeds, "I heard on tv about these babies that are being taken from cults, and I was thinking that they must be looking for homes." OK, at this point, I am thinking that my good-hearted, Catholic, God-loving Granny wants me to give them a home. I think that she is proud of herself for solving my lack of children problem. She continues, "So, I think you should make sure your agency knows that you do not want a cult baby." Seriously??? My hubby told her that we had checked the cult baby box on the application under the section asking what we were not willing to consider in an adoptive child or parent. Seriously. He told her that. She believed him.
One weekend, Justin and I were looking for things to do, and we heard about an adoption fair in town. We were getting pretty pumped-hubby thought we should go. Upon further inspection, we realized it was a pet adoption fair, not a baby adoption fair. It would have been a really good laugh though if we had gone and asked for a Caucasian with blonde hair. We could have wound up with a cocker spaniel.
And finally, after finding out that our applications were okayed, our profile was completed, and we were officially in the adoption pool, I decided that I was pregnant on paper. That qualifies me for the expectant mother parking spots. I happily parked there - hubby was very embarrassed when he was with me. I will miss those spots.
Can I even call what I am doing parenting when said parentee is only 11 days old? I mean, there isn't really any discipline involved or much decision making on how to handle situations. The biggest decisions I have to make right now are:
Is that cry a gas squeal or a hunger scream? Is that smell wafting from her diaper normal? Should I even bother showering? Can formula soak into your pores and literally release from your body? If not, is there a way to get that smell off of me or out of me? Again-should I bother to shower because it is obviously not getting rid of that smell?
The things I have learned in the past week:
It is possible for babies to spew formula out of their noses. That blue suctioning thing is made to remove said formula from nostrils. Newborns can actually projectile poo-and at an impressive distance. Newborns can snore-whether or not that is normal or good is a question this week for the doc. Apparently I may be ok at taking care of a newborn. Check back with me during the terrible twos and the teenage years.
Yes-my husband actually said to me last night, " You know, you are actually a really good mother." Now, I know he said this as a compliment, but I just looked at him like - "You are obviously surprised!?" He did explain himself-he means that he is impressed that I took to this motherhood thing and am fairly comfortable right now (again, check back with me when she begins to do more than eat, sleep, poop, and burp). I have to say-I am surprised too. I did not grow up around newborns-but I seem to be finding my way for the moment-so please keep the fingers crossed!
My sweet husband also brought home flowers for his new daughter. He brought her a dozen of the most beautiful pink roses. I am not a crier, but when I saw the card, I just started blubbering. It read, "A girl's first flowers should come from her daddy. I love you-Daddy." Isn't that the sweetest thing? Of course, I now have 25 pictures of these roses and the card for prosperity.
My dear husband was also the one to discover that poop can fly from the tiniest of places. I come into our den and find my dear hubby with the end of the changing mat up in the air to create a barrier as he dodges flying poo. At least he was laughing and seemed to be impressed with his daughter's abilities.
We are still here in Texas. I have been so completely overwhelmed by the phone calls, emails, facebook and website postings...I am so lucky to have such caring friends and family.
A friend of mine from high school recently emailed me regarding the name of my blog. She had such a good perspective on the name of it, I just had to share it with you. She wrote, "two things your blog title immediately made me think of: God love "her": your daughter's birth mom who made such an unselfish and tough decision and God love "her": your beautiful daughter." It is so weird the way things work-because she is exactly right! (thank you Jaime for your insightfulness!) It is weird because I named my blog God Love Her because I say it all of the time without realizing how fitting it is to my life and situation.
Well, the birth mom signed the papers today-I cannot even begin to tell you all of the conflicting feelings that go with this moment. Pure joy, but the greatest sorrow I think I have ever felt in my whole entire life. I looked at these two selfless, incredible individuals who had the most beautiful baby in the whole world, and I just wanted to cry and throw the baby in their arms and tell them that it was theirs. The birth father hugged me and told me to take good care of her. The birth mother told me to enjoy my new daughter...I just kept thinking, "I am taking their first daughter from them." The pain in their eyes was so deep.
I know that I am not taking her. I know that this is rightfully how God meant for it to be. The birth father said, "I do not want to do this, but I will do this. Taking the baby home would short change everyone in our lives-our other children, us and her. We will have our own daughter one day, but she is your daughter. We picked you because we know you can give her everything." Can you even imagine?
As we walked to get something to eat after the papers were finally signed, we spotted the birth parents through the window from the 4th floor making their way to their car in the parking lot below. The birth father put mom's overnight bag in the truck, they got into the car and they left. And it was over-they came in with a baby to deliver and left without a child. However, they left knowing that their decision was the right one, and that their baby girl was now someone else's world, miracle, and life.
I am amazed by people all of the time. I like to say that people don't surprise me-like I am a goddess of instinct and can fairly accurately size up people. Well, I have found that people do amaze me. I am amazed at these two people's courage and strength. I am amazed at their unselfish act. I am amazed with my new daughter. I am amazed already with her strength. I am amazed, I am amazed, I am amazed....
I think I am also having some post partum (can I even do that) because I know that this post was a true downer! But, I don't mean to depress-it is just that this time has been so special and sacred on so many levels. To share it otherwise would almost be sacrilegious.
So, I hope next time to have some funny stories and updates for you on this new chapter in our lives. I am sure that this is going to be the most excellent of adventures!
Well-I never thought that my first post would be while I was in San Antonio, TX! I have to explain that a little bit. Justin and I have been trying to adopt since early 2008. We have been trying to have kids for almost 4 years now. So, when we got a phone call on Friday that we were picked by a birth mom in TX, we were thrilled! The catch was that she was due in 5 days. So, lots of shopping, lots of stressing, lots of last minute details-and here we are!
It started like this-Friday, Justin is on his way to a movie with his dad, and I am at home finishing work. The phone rings-it says PRIVATE...hum. It was our case worker, and we just chatted and chatted. I had mentioned that I hadn't slept much the night before, and she says, "I am about to make you sleep a little bit better or a little bit worse." She then tells me we were chosen by a birth mom! Well, I am just not really sure what to do at this point-do I hang up and call Justin or keep talking to the case worker? So, I text Justin with one hand and it says "Come home now." Obviously, he starts calling in a panic. So, I answer the other line and tell him that we were picked! He did not go to a movie that day. So, we have a conference call with the birth mom who tells us that she is completely sure of her decision, and she is scheduling a c-section and wants to make sure that we can be there. Soooo much!!!!
And that is the story of why my first blog is from TX, and apparently I will have more mom stories than others. Oh-and the name of the blog? God Love Her is one of those things that I say constantly. It seems to be my reaction to most things. So, I felt that it was fitting.
So-God Love Her this week is directed at myself-a little conceited aren't I?? And good thing that I am an organized, type A individual because luckily the nursery is basically ready. I did want a mural painted on the wall, but I guess I will have to wait for that or forget about it. So, my first pics are those of the nursery! Hopefully the next ones will have a little one in them!
Baby Bedding and Baby Bassinet-made lovingly by GiGi! Isn't it BEAUTIFUL!
The Baby Room
Part of the adjoining bath-sadly, I think that this may be my FAVORITE room!
It's just me-and all of my idiosyncrasies. I work full time, I am married, and I love my dog. We just adopted a baby girl. I am completely contradictory, I am a girlie girl, and I am impatient. I like breakfast for dinner. I like apples and peanut butter. I like wine. I like entertaining. I like sleeping. I like labels and I can be a b-with an-itch when I want to be or am pushed. I want to give my baby every opportunity in the world, and I want to teach her values and the rewards of hard work. I want more children and am scared to death of the uncertainties of adoption even though I have already done it. I love my husband. I hate that I weigh the most I ever have in my whole life. I want my husband to make a zillion dollars a year, and I want him to put up his laundry and clothes when I ask. I want what most people want-and here is my story-day by day!