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Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Deer Jerky and Bathtubs

Yesterday was one of those weird days. It was rainy and cold and it all made me want to curl up in my bed and do nothing. However, that is not possible since I have these responsibilities in life called a job, wifehood, and mommyhood. So, I put on my big girl panties and ventured out to sell soups.

I was working with a distributor foodservice rep. We were in an account, and I found myself looking at these people thinking, "Is this converstation really happening?" I was listening to a bunch of Northerners talk about what great deer jerkey they make. Really? "Oh yes," says one. "Stanley makes the best deer jerky. But, the deer down here taste different. You all don't let 'em get fattened up at all. If there is a deer standing there in front of you, you just shoot it. They taste like they are not quite done, or inbred, or something." I swear to the good Lord above, I witnessed this conversation with a Yankee as the speaker.

After my lesson in deer jerkey, I finally made it home and gave HK her bath before bed. She is pulling up on everything, but last night, she decided that she wanted to pull up on the side of the bath tub and stand. "No no," I kept telling her. She would smile and then do it again. I kept on, "no no, HK." I yelled down to Justin that his little girl was about to get in trouble. He comes to assist. He swats her hand as she reaches up to grab the handle to help her stand up. She sort of squwaks at him, and she keeps on trying.

I am trying to distract her and am realizing that we are at a crossroads here. It is one of the first times we have really been telling her not to do something. She is obviously willfull, as she keeps on and on and on again trying to stand up. I know that I cannot give in and have to keep being stern and consistent. She has to learn that there are boundaries and I am the boss.

Justin steps back and I put my hands on her face (you know, getting down to her level and all-very supernanny like of me), and tell her, "No no, HK" very firmly, and without a hint of a smile.

Little miss looks at me, and she starts belly laughing. Truly. I look at Justin, and he just lifts his eyebrows and looks at me-he is testing me and waiting to see what I do. I just looked at him-I have to say that I was most distraught over her reaction. I said to Justin, "I am mean and scary firm mommy, not funny mommy." And what did he do? He started laughing. I mean, come on people. I can be intimidating.

So, he leaves, and I got HK out of the bath. I am pretty certain that she did not learn a lesson from this at all.

I on the other hand learned that I need to practice my serious, stern face.

And, maybe stay in bed on days like this from now on and chew on some jerky.

Monday, November 2, 2009

Fall Happenings

Fall is here, and with it brings lots of busy days for us. We just successfully finished HK's first Halloween-with a costume party and some trick or treating.

We are gearing up for Christmas and HK's first birthday (can you believe it?!?)

And, we are beginning the adoption process-again.

And this time, it is just scarier and just all together WORSE. All of those same emotions are already beginning-the ones where you want to scream to the hills that it is just not fair, why do we have to be put under the microscope again, why do we have to pay more and more and more money for the same things that we just did a year and a half ago? Why do we have to get bank loans in order to afford a child-and not just the baby's education or super sweet sixteen party (yes, that is a joke), but we have to get loans to JUST GET THE BABY.

And it is scarier this time because I feel like we might have had "beginner's luck" the first go around. It seems like everything worked out just perfectly. And apparently that is rare. And I only think it is rare because after you tell people you have adopted, everyone has a horror story about a friend of a friend and her adoption and how it went horribly and everything fell apart-blah, blah, blah. Seriously, why do people do that?

So, it has made me think that you are most likely at some point going to have a botched adoption or at least a difficult one. And since I now want 4 kids, I guess I will have to buckle up. And get a helmet. And pray. And win the lottery. But, I get to be a mom, again.

Here's to the ride!

Friday, October 2, 2009

Conversations with Granny

I love my Granny.

She is 87 and a spitfire.

In fact, she has decided to rename herself-Grandemere. Truly, we thought it was a bit of a joke, but apparently not. Every message she leaves for me-"Hello dear, it is Grandemere."

She is truly meaning it.

My cousin Mary Kate got a little ill over the whole thing declaring that Granny CANNOT after this many years decide to rename herself. Her name is Granny. Period.

She will leave the funniest messages, and you always know that it is her when there is a hangup on the answering machine because her tv is at an ungodly decibel and you can hear it in the background before the hangup.

The other day she calls and is asking me about a playpen. She says that she has heard that play pens are not used these days-they call them something else.

I tell her that they sell play yards and pack-n-plays, and she laughs and says that she wants to get one for us. She hears that they sell them at Babies R Us.

I told her that I would love to go look at some with her. She says that she knows there is a Babies R Us nearby, but she cannot remember where.

This is the rest of the conversation:

Me: "It is over by Home Depot."
Granny: "Yes, I can never remember the name of Home Depot."
Me: "It is right over there, and we can go look together."
Granny: "What do they call people who eat other people?"
Me: hysterical laughter, dropped the phone.
Me: picking the phone back up, "WHAT?!? Cannibals?"
Granny: "Yes-that's it."
Me: "Why on earth did you ask that?"
Granny: "I just couldn't sleep last night trying to remember the term they use for people who eat other people. It kept me up."

I had to let her go at this point. I was still losing it with laughter.

Seriously-Home Depot to Cannibals? You never know where your conversation will go with Grandemere.

Boys And Their Toys

I should have known that SOMETHING was up.

First of all, dearest hubby calls me during lunch to see how my day is. Now, this is not unusual. He tells me that he has been researching the Radio Flyer wagons. See, he has a vision in his head about toting HK and her cousin around on Halloween in a Radio Flyer. Great idea, but, have you seen the prices on these things? Yep-expensive.

So, I say, "Dear, that is a great idea, but it is big-where are you going to store it?" This is my first line of defense because our lack of garage space is ALWAYS an issue. His response you ask? "You're right." WHAT!?!? Seriously, he always argues when I seem to tell him no. OK-that should have been clue #1.

Clue #2...Hubby comes home and I have unloaded my car from my day at work. Then I realize that I have left my laptop in the trunk. I mentioned something about how I had left it in the car, and Justin says that he can get it for me. I tell him not to worry about it. He gets up off of the couch from watching TV, and he goes and gets the laptop out of the trunk-without me asking, or yelling, or telling him 15 times. Uh huh.

Then he drops the bomb-see, his cell phone's battery is done. I mean-the thing will not hold a charge for more than an hour. So, I tell him that he should go and get a new battery. He looks into it and the battery costs around $100. So, he tells me that he is going to go ahead and get his Christmas present early and that he wants to order a new phone.

I tell him that I am NOT his mother and that he needs to make his own decision regarding ordering a phone he DOES NOT NEED when he can just get a new battery. Now keep in mind that the only reason he instigates this conversation with me is because I pay the bills. Otherwise, this would not be happening.

Clearly, he makes the wrong decision and orders the new phone. WHICH he tells me costs around $250. So, I get an alert on email regarding the new purchase to our Sprint account for $500. YES-$500. He tells me that there is a mail in rebate and that he is selling his old phone-so when you take all of that into consideration, it will bring the cost down to around $300.

Uh huh.

He proceeds to plant himself back on the couch for tv time, and he says to me, "Thank you." I said, "For what?" He says, "For letting me get the phone."

Now-we are at a crossroads. As I told him, I am not your mother-I left the decision up to you. He says, "Yea, I know. But thank you."

Geez-talk about making a girl feel badly.

So, after tracking every second of shipping movement, the phone has arrived. It better last 10 years. On second thought, maybe if I let him get a phone every year, I will get a day of helpfulness out of it??

Boys and their toys......

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

More Lessons


The joys.......and the absolute shocking things that it carries with it.

I have done things as a mother that I NEVER.IN.A.MILLION.YEARS would have done in my previous life.

For instance, I have gone out in public in an outfit that appeared clean, only to discover upon arrival at my destination that it has in fact been spit up on and the stains are starting to appear. Yes-it is true-formula and spit up can disappear and reappear on clothes. I swear it. So, there I stood, with regurgitated formula all over me. The most shocking part? I didn't really care. I used to care about these things.....now, I just shrug. Seriously, I used to have Tide pens in my purse, in my car, in my drawers. I still do, but, again, I just shrug. Tide stock has fallen.

On another occasion, I had showered, taken the time to straighten my hair, got dressed for work, fed HK, and burped her. You know where this is going........she proceeded to spit up all in my hair. What's a girl to do? I don't have time to rewash my hair and myself. Soooo (tip for you new moms out there), formula can dry in your hair and be brushed out quite nicely. While it does turn very crispy and it can be difficult to get the brush through your hair in the beginning, keep at it and it will brush right out. The formula smell is another thing-invest in hair perfume. Seriously, I have it. I never in a million imagined that I would know this. And that I would not have completely FREAKED out, but I remained very calm. I can be quite the trooper in emergency situations.

I have left the house in clothes that I would never have before-in my life. Ever. Like full up pjs and sweats with tee shirts no one should have to see. Tee shirts that remind me of how old I am because they are old sorority party tee shirts that blatantly state my age-like Barn Party 1997. I SHOULD at least care about advertising my age.

I have learned that baby wipes are almost as good as a shower, and that dry shampoo can add volume in a pinch.

Ahhhh...the things you learn not to care about! But I have hope for my full hygienic self to reappear and have not given up complete hope. In the meantime, I will continue to dress my little precious one in her smocked dresses and bows paired with her sweatpants and tee shirt clad mom!

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Titans or Vols?????

Soooo-it is officially football time!!!!!!!!!!!!! Woo hoo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I have always butted heads with my in laws who are NFL/Titans fans. They think that the Titans are the end all and be all of football. In Tennessee.

I disagree-the Vols are the end all and be all-period. My Father in law said that the Titans are the biggest athletic institution in the state. Of Tennessee. I have no idea if this was a fact or a personal opinion, but I found myself outright stating-"No way." That is my opinion, not fact.

But, I got to thinking about it-are the Titans now the biggest athletic institution in the state?

Now, there are a lot of factors that go into this debate-first of all, Tennessee is filled with "transplants." Few people are "officially" from Tennessee. That means that these people bring with them all of their sport dedications. Those of us from Tennessee never knew the real dedication of being an NFL follower. We never had an NFL team to call our own. So, those NFL fans found an NFL team to follow. But, as for college sports, there were only 2 choice-the Vols or the Dores. Period. That was it.

You have to understand - these college followers are bred and raised to bleed orange and white or gold and something....... Point is, coming from a Vols family, it is a religion-you are bred to bleed the orange and white-for generations. It is truly a way of life. From my perspective, there is no way that you can bring a pro team into the area for only ten years and think that it is going to trump the pure dedication that we have to the Vols. No Way.

The transplants who were dedicated pro football followers might transfer their dedication to the Titans, but there is no way that it can replace the religion of the Volunteers. And-what kind of dedication is that? Transferring loyalties and all-geez. Just go to a Titans game when they play the Colts and see how many people are wearing Colts jerseys in honor of Peyton. Simply because he was a UT player.

Just go to a home game at Neyland Stadium. And-compare the seating capacity of the stadiums. No one can convince me that 10 years of NFL existence in this state can trump the generations of volunteer fans.

And-on another note-we are not even considering NASCAR in this scenario-did you know that on a race day in Bristol, TN, Bristol is the largest populated city in the entire Southeast? Let me remind you that on non-race days, the city is TINY!

So, opinions out there? Have the Titans out ranked the Vols and become the largest sport in the state?

Personally, I want the Titans to win. Sure I do-they are my team. But, do I follow them like I follow the Vols? No-I don't.

The Vols are football in my book.

God-I love football season!!!!!!!!!!!

Monday, September 14, 2009


Ahhhh-football time in Tennessee. We have just finished week number two, and I am still debating the coaching prowess of our newest, fearless leader. There were enough interceptions in the UCLA game to make me cringe more than I would have hoped, and at times I thought that I truly should try out for the team-I mean, I am not really athletic or anything, but I swear I can throw as well as Crompton. I mean, come on Kiffin, I thought you could recruit. Do something about this, would ya?

But, back to my athleticism. I guess it goes back to my "workout" from Saturday (yes, I know that today is Monday). Mom and I took HK to Opry Mills-ONLY because they have a Strasburg Children's Outlet. Otherwise, I would NEVER go to that mall-I mean, they TORE DOWN MY THEME PARK TO BUILD A MALL!!!!!! Yes-they trashed my childhood memories to build a Bass Pro Shop. Opryland USA versus MALL-hmmmmmmm. Some moron made the wrong decision.

Anyhoo-we went out there because they were having a sale, and in my mom's EXACT words, and I quote, "I have waited 8 years to buy something in this store." She announced this to the sales lady. Well, I'm not going to stop her. It is irrelevant that my 8 month old owns about 6 dresses from this store. If it makes my mom happy to plunk down dad's credit card, then who am I to stop her? Funny though, I know that we would not be plunking down the credit card if there was a Strasburg adult equivalent-say for instance, a purse from Coach? Nope. I have definitely fallen out of favor.

So, we shop in Opryhell for about 4 or so hours. Then we are hungry and decide to sit down and eat at TGI Friday's. We feed HK, we scream at each other in what is an attempt at conversation because the large table next to us is breaking the sound barrier, and we place our orders. We are waiting for our meals and playing with HK-I am bouncing her on my lap and she and mom are playing across the table. Suddenly, I see my mom over HK's head start flailing about and shrieking. Seriously people, I thought that someone had just shot her. Since I could not hear her over the REALLY LOUD TABLE, I grab HK just in time to see A.HUGE.ROACH running across the table right at HK. I jump up, started grabbing our belongings; mom is grabbing the rest of them. We pass our waiter as we go screaming from the building that a large roach almost ate us at our table to which he blankly replies, "Really, huh?" Disgusting.

So-I think it must have either been the strenuous walking through the mall or the manic jumping around at the restaurant that made me pull my calf muscle. All I know is that since that day, I have felt extremely sore-like the tender remains of a charlie horse.

After putting HK to bed this evening, I am walking back down the stairs. As I reach the last step I felt this horrid pull-I SWEAR that my muscle tore. I KNOW that it had to. It really hurt. Justin is trying to convince me that I am fine, and he tells me that I would be in agonizing pain if I had indeed ripped a muscle. But, I protested that I KNOW what I felt and that I do have a very high pain tolerance. Then it occurred to me that I MUST be experiencing the symptoms of low potassium. Maybe even deadly low potassium. So, I dug up some old potassium pills and took those. It was either that or eat HK's mushed up banana baby food. So, I think that I saved my life. Thank goodness for my quick thinking.

So-here I sit with a sore calf. I really have to cool it with the activity for a while. And eat more bananas.

Tuesday, September 8, 2009

Nature versus Nurture

I have to say-HK is a really good baby. I mean, really good. She entertains herself, she never fusses, she talks herself to sleep and talks to herself when she wakes up. She is just a happy, content little person. And, everyone tells me that I am so lucky to have such a laid back little girl. Because, her behavior is apparently not the norm. As I am told all of the time. And again, how lucky I am to have a baby with such a great personality. Because it has to be luck.

I appreciate all of the compliments regarding HK's personality-I do. But, sometimes I get a little annoyed because I think that it cannot all be luck. Would it kill people to recognize that maybe we aren't terrible parents and MAYBE, just maybe, we had something to do with her personality? Just a little bit?

I do realize that if we are blessed with baby 2 that we might get a fussy little squaller, and then it could blow my whole theory to bits. Until that time though, I would like to think that we had a little something to do with the fact that we have a content and happy bundle of joy.

So-thanks for reading my rant.

On another note-now that HK's Vols ensemble is secured, I am now stressing about her halloween costume. I know that it is really for the photo ops, but I just cannot decide. I was leaning towards Snow White, but now I am thinking maybe Wizard of Oz Dorothy.

And, I will not lie-the ruby slippers are swaying my decision.

Thursday, September 3, 2009


I seriously cannot believe how time has flown! I cannot believe that it has been so long since my last posting. I have had a few crazy weeks for sure. Little miss is just scooting and crawling along-so much for setting her in one place and being able to get other things done!

So, I have not made blogging a priority. I will try to be better.

So what has been going on, you ask? Well, first of all, I am on a mission to find HK a Vols outfit for this upcoming football season. I have become obsessed. And a regular, old cheerleader outfit will not do. I have to find something unique, or smocked. So, mom is making her an outfit, and we bought another one this weekend. With a matching hair bow. I feel like we are well on our way to a great UT season.

My friend Stephani and her two boys stayed with us a few weeks ago as well. It was so great to see her, and her boys provided lots of laughs. But, I had my first experience with trying to explain adoption to an eleven year old.

Steph and I were looking through a photo album, and the first picture is of me and Justin at a restaurant. It was taken the night we found out that we had been chosen by a birth mom. I was explaining this to Steph as her oldest is sitting there taking it all in. After we finished looking at the pictures, Joey turns to her and says something about HK and the fact that we "won" her. Won her???? He mistook us being "picked" as us winning a contest of some sort. In this great contest, we apparently won a baby. Well, my first reaction was to laugh, but he was truly perplexed. It was then that I first discovered the difficulty in explaining adoption to another child. His mommy was pregnant with him, gave birth to him, and that created his family. End of story. When Justin began explaining that HK's mom and dad had her for us, lots of other questions arose. Why couldn't we have kids of our own? Why did HK's mom and dad not want to keep her with them? It was an eye opening experience for us all. The innocence of a child trying to grasp this concept, and us adults having to explain in a manner that makes sense to a kid. I am not sure how well we did with the explanation, but I do know now that an insanely complicated situation is really not that difficult when put into perspective. The whole thing boils down to love and selflessness. That is it.

This eye opening experience led to others for me as well-boys sure are different than girls. Duh, but they can be so creative. Steph's boys and I made parachutes out of fabric and dropped stuffed animals over the upstairs balcony, we played guitar hero and Wii sports, we had popsicles, I broke up fights, and I learned that small storage rooms make great "hideouts."

Ahhhh....Fun stuff

Friday, July 17, 2009

Moms (sigh)

OK-so I have not been the best at updating the blog. I will admit, life as a parent sure takes up a lot of time. More and more time when the little one is awake more and more.

So, everyone knows that I LOVE MY MOM. I do-she is my best friend, I love her more than a chocolate Elvis. But, she is a stalker on facebook and my blog. Mine and my cousin, Traci's. She sends me daily updates regarding my friend's lives-yes, this would be status updates on facebook where she gets her info.

So, I get this email this evening after my last post. It reads:

"the word is utmost (i think that is correct) and buying a baby sounds a little weird for public consumption. If you are awake im on facebook, love you and see you in the am -gigi"

Seriously-I am not kidding. She stalks my blog for new posts and then stalks me for corrections.

And-she is a facebook stalker as well-she lets me know what all of my friend are up to!! God Love Her for her technological abilities!

But, really... And she is upset about the "buying a baby?" Guess what????? That is reality! A wonderful reality in my world! (But a bit of a joke-makes the whole situation easier to swallow).

So-not to be harsh about the buying a baby thing-I don't mean to down play it (I am sure that I typed that incorrectly), but it was a joke (of sorts). FYI reader...

But, I have to ultimately say-thanks mom for always having my back! No matter what!

Thursday, July 16, 2009

All Kinds of Dishes

So-it's been awhile since I shared things I have learned. And there have definitely been a few lately.

First of all, HK had her 6 month doc appointment. Once again, mean doc sticks her 3 times. She screams and I want to crawl in a hole and die. But, we did learn that little miss is in the 87% for her height. This is really funny considering that Justin and I are in like the 2% for height. We are short people. Friends call us the cake toppers. We are vertically challenged. So, we figure that if we have to buy a baby, then we might as well get a tall one so that we have help reaching things on the top shelves.

During this visit, doc says that we can start on rice cereal and veggies. So, I did not lose one second. As soon as we got home and it was time for dinner, I mixed up rice cereal for HK. We even had a small audience since her Gigi and Papa stopped over to check on her after her shot incident (I refer to all medical treatments as "incidents"). So, we all gather around the high chair, Gigi has the Canon Rebel, Papa has the video camera, and I proceeded to feed HK this watery yuck that had no taste to it. It says to make it really watery for their first ever feeding, and I did. And, I tried a small taste of it. Really people, cardboard has more flavor and consistency than this stuff. But, she was like a little bird-kept opening up her mouth and following the spoon. She was a champ.

Here is the learning part-no one told me that this TINY and I mean TINY bit of rice cereal would make her poop COMPLETELY GREEN. I mean, like fresh pea green. I was SHOCKED when I changed her diaper this evening. And, the diaper was a little more full than normal, so you know that she stuck her hand in it, rolled in it-it was everywhere. Justin is trying to hold her legs and she is trying to roll over at the same time. So, her top half is face down and her bottom half is still right side up where he is holding onto her legs. And we are both panicking and trying to not get poo on us....needless to say, HK wound up in the bath.

So, since HK is now starting some baby food, it was of the up most importance that I get her some dishes that are all her own. I made a trip to Target this evening and got her all of these little bowls and sectioned plates. And-these cool bowls actually suction to the highchair so she can't knock them over or move them around. How cool is that?!?

So, after my new dishes shopping spree, I had to come home and reorganized some cabinets because there has to be a section for HK dishes. So much goes into new dishware...

And the last thing I have learned this week-mirrors are the ABSOLUTE BEST baby toy in the world. We discovered this at the doc office when she was on the table and looking at herself in the mirror on the wall. She was grinning at herself, in fact, full out flirting with herself. And she was kicking and laughing...having the BEST time. So, Gigi and Papa brought over a full length mirror for her. Best investment in the world. We have played with a hand held mirror for awhile, but I guess it is nothing in comparison to the full length version in a baby's mind. She truly loves herself and thinks she is hysterical. And she is correct, she is!!!!!

So, here's to the learning curve and to learning the ropes of parenting!

Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Blonde Moments and Pink Necks

I sometimes hate to call myself out on my blonde moments, but sometimes I just cannot help it. Sometimes I am just funny.

So, on Sunday I am heading to the parents house with HK in tow to swim. I am listening to NASCAR radio-which in itself is absolutely hysterical. I am a girly girl to the max, but I have lately become a redneck girly girl because I have found a sport to follow (other that UT football, of course). My blood truly runneth orange, but my hubby and I attended a live NASCAR race a few years ago. I won a trip with my company that was called "Race to Vegas." Part of this package was the NASCAR race. I swore that I would not go-I mean, seriously, racing? Rubbin' is racin'? But, I had to go-I had customers to entertain.

So, we get on our private shuttle bus and make the trek to the racetrack while watching a behind the scenes NASCAR video. We arrive and are escorted to our private tent with a full buffet and open bar. Then, we make our way to the track with our pit passes...needless to say, it was quite the experience for a first-timer. After watching the race, listening on our headsets to the radio communications, and enjoying some beverages, I was a fan. In fact, Justin took me to a race for our anniversary a few years ago. So, I have become quite the redneck. Or, to make it more applicable to me, let's call it a pink neck.

So, back to my original blonde moment...On NASCAR radio, they are interviewing one of the drivers. They are talking about all of the high profile deaths last week-Farrah, Michael, Ed.... They are talking about the death of the day-a pitchman named Billy Mays. The driver comments that it has been such a sad week with the world losing all of these people.

I come in, thinking I have fresh gossip. I tell mom and dad that some baseball player just died-a Billy Mays. Mom says, "You mean Willie Mays?" I respond, "I thought he said Billy Mays? A pitcher??" Dad just kind of shrugs-he doesn't follow much baseball.

Two days later, I realize that it is the Oxiclean/Orange Glo/Kaboom guy. He is a PITCHMAN, not a PITCHER...simple mistake.

I crack myself up.

Saturday, June 13, 2009

Elastic Shopping

I have to laugh. I have been complaining-loudly-about all of the weight that I have put on. I can only blame prednisone for so long. Apparently Justin has had enough. He is tired of listening to me, or so he says. I cannot imagine why he wouldn't want to hear me moan about being fat or help me put on spanx and yummie tummies. But, he says that he has put on a little, too. So, he thinks we should go to the mall to get some summer shorts that we can actually wear comfortably.

So, off we go. A shopping we will go......

Justin is not much of a shopper. He keeps disappearing in stores. As I search around, I discover a trend. If there is a chair, he is in it. If there is not a chair, find a ledge or even the front display window. There he sits, with a stroller in front of him. To his credit, he is not complaining. One of my favorite things about Justin is that he tries to help me shop. At least for a little while. Then he is over it.

But, on this day, he is doing pretty well. He is being a sport of a shopper for longer than usual. We have been to Dillards and Everything But Water to find bathing suits. Now we are hitting Gap for some shorts. I am searching around the store for some I like, and then I am searching for Justin to tell him that I am hitting the dressing room. I find him perched in the front display window. Justin, a stroller and mannequins.

He says, "Hey, hey...look over there. Those skirts." I think that he likes the skirts, so I look at them. I mean, if he is going to encourage me to purchase, I might as well entertain the idea. So, I look-nothing big. Not really interested. After all, I am turning over a new leaf-a thrifty leaf if you will. I am here for shorts, not skirts I don't need. I turn back around to tell him I will pass, and he is motioning and mouthing something. I step closer and he is saying, "You know Liz, because they are elastic." The word elastic is barely audible. He more mouths it than says it. "It would be comfortable." He looks so serious-like he is trying to help me but not let the others in the store hear him.

I could hardly contain my laughter as I made my way to the dressing room. I should have been offended. But, God love him-he has listened to me b-i-t-c-h for so long that he is even looking for items that will make me NOT bitch. And, all my complaining has conditioned him to look for clothes that are not form fitting. I really love this guy.

So, after I bought some shorts, I had to comfort myself with some gelato. Woe is me-let the diet begin! Again!

Tuesday, June 2, 2009


I just celebrated my 29th birthday (again), and I got some of the COOLEST gifts this year! My birthday was actually a few weeks ago, but I have been so busy that I have not had time to grace you all with my presence. See, God Love all of you for putting up with me!

Back to my gifts, though. I really got some unique stuff this year. First of all, I have a Canon Rebel camera. It came with a lens. Apparently it was just a regular ole lens because I have discovered that there are lots of fun things you can buy to accessorize your camera. My sweet hubby got me a new lens-it zooms really far and takes the best pictures. I am becoming quite the photographer! So, I think I now have to start a lens collection of sorts. I had no idea how much fun camera accessories could be!

And, as we all know because I have complained about it unrelentingly, I have put on a few pounds. So, I got a Yummie Tummie. It is a tank top shaper that gets rid of the dreaded muffin top. Coolest thing ever! It comes in tees, tanks, camis, tube tops, and even a nursing tee. I got the "Freedom" design because it has a built in shelf bra. Really-between the yummie tummie and spanx, I am certain to pass out from lack of oxygen eventually. But really, the Yummie Tummie is quite comfortable. Check them out

And-the coolest of the cool present award goes to my mom. She got me a Kameleon ring. The kameleon line is basically interchangeable jewelry. The center pops out, and you purchase what they call the "jewelry pops" and replace the center of the setting. Wallah-a whole new piece of jewelry! LOVE IT!!!!! You can investigate this pure genious at

I am so blessed to be surrounded by such great gift givers! I got other fun things-a new party tub that we can fill with ice and put drinks in for guests, some gold earrings from my brother, and the most adorable wine glass that is hand painted with "Mom" on it! It is perfect for my cheap wine! Now, I will have to chill my wine in the party tub, drink it out of my Mom glass, and wear my Yummie Tummie and Kameleon ring so I look cool while doing it! Someone-grab the camera!

Saturday, May 23, 2009


It has been awhile since I have updated. There has just been an awful lot going on.

Last week, I had my first overnight business trip since HK has joined the family. I knew she would be all right, I knew that Justin would be okay, and I thought that I would be fine. Well, I did manage to make it through the one night I was gone without hysteria, but I actually did think a few times that I was going to have a full on panic attack. I was NOT expecting that at all-I really thought I would be ok, but I will admit that I was a little sad and panicked at being away from home.

So, the next week, I have my next overnight, but this time I am gone for 2 nights. Everything is going much smoother, until I swell up like a hot air balloon. Let me back up-I have been swelling for the past week and a half to two weeks, but I am just chalking it up to the fact that I have come off of prednisone and it is a reaction. Well, I called my doc from out of town just to see if I can get an appointment for the end of the week when I am home again. The doc FREAKS out and tells me to get to an urgent care clinic immediately. So, I proceed to go to an urgent care clinic, and they would not touch me-told me to go directly to the ER. OK-what in the heck???

So, I drive all the way home to Nashville and go directly to Vanderbilt ER. Justin meets me. They take me to triage and take my blood pressure-it is 160/103. Seriously. Not kidding.

The nurse puts that little plastic tube thing in my vein so they don't have to keep sticking me (typing this is actually making my body hurt at the thought of it). I kind of start to panic about the whole idea of the needles and the tubes, so my nurse reverts to her Peds (yes, as in pediatrics) schpeel...she tells me, "honey, it is all right. I am just going to put a magic straw in your arm!" Now really, unless that magic straw is connected to some magic White Zin, I want nothing to do with your magic straw business.

After 7 hours at the ER, and blood tests, which I am NOT.A.FAN.OF.NEEDLES.AT.ALL, I am ok. All the tests came back fine. They do think that it is a side effect of the prednisone because all of this started when I ended the meds. I will live to see another day.

I will be honest here-I would not have even gone to the doctor had it not been for something a man said to me as I was debating what to do regarding my cankles. We had just been talking about kids, and I had told him that I had a 4 month old little girl. He looked at me and said, "You need to call the doctor and do what the doctor tells you to do. It is not about you anymore. You have someone else to think about now-you have a little girl who needs her mother to be ok and be there. You have to make sure that you are all right. She is depending on you." Wow. That is some food for thought. This is a whole new ball game.

So, as I am typing this, my hubby, my mom-in-law and my dad-in-law are working in the front yard-weeding, mulching, trimming...For Justin's birthday, they gave him a day of yard work. He actually took them up on it. So, I should feel guilty about sitting here while they all slave outside in the heat. However, when Justin and I got a house, we made a pact that the inside is mine and the outside is his. And, this is his gift-this is between him and his parents. This has NOTHING to do with me. I just get the cold waters when requested, and I did make hot dogs, pasta salad, and grapes for lunch. Ah-but doctor's orders-I must keep my feet up!

Wednesday, May 6, 2009

Before I Was A Mom

Someone sent this to me today, and I wanted to share it with all the wonderful moms out there. Happy early Mother's Day!!!!

Before I was a Mom,
I never tripped over toys or forgot words to a lullaby.
I didn't worry whether or not my plants were poisonous.
I never thought about immunizations.

Before I was a Mom,
I had never been puked on. Pooped on. Chewed on. Peed on.
I had complete control of my mind and my thoughts. I slept all night.

Before I was a Mom,
I never held down a screaming child so doctors could do tests. Or give shots.
I never looked into teary eyes and cried.
I never got gloriously happy over a simple grin.
I never sat up late hours at night watching a baby sleep.

Before I was a Mom,
I never held a sleeping baby just because I didn't want to put her down.
I never felt my heart break into a million pieces when I couldn't stop the hurt.
I never knew that something so small could affect my life so much.
I never knew that I could love someone so much.
I never knew I would love being a Mom.

Before I was a Mom,
I didn't know the feeling of having my heart outside my body.
I didn't know how special it could feel to feed a hungry baby.
I didn't know that bond between a mother and her child.
I didn't know that something so small could make me feel so important and happy.

Before I was a Mom,
I had never gotten up in the middle of the night every 10 minutes to make sure all was okay.
I had never known the warmth, the joy, the love, the heartache, the wonderment or the satisfaction of being a Mom.
I didn't know I was capable of feeling so much...
before I was a Mom .

Sunday, May 3, 2009

How Motherhood Changes You

We have all been sick for the past 2 weeks. YES-2 weeks. I have blown through-literally-boxes of tissues. Poor little HK is still stuffy. Justin did not run the marathon because of this lingering illness. Woe is me-I am tired of being ill. It is just a good thing that this whole pig sickness thing was not happening 2 weeks ago or I would have been convinced that we were swine flu victims.

So, we had our first outing yesterday evening since we have been house-bound for almost two weeks. Yes-we went to the mall. Parenthood sure does change things. We are getting ready to leave, and Justin tells HK that we are off to mom's old stomping grounds. I turn and look at him-I am truly perplexed. I am thinking, "We are making a stop at the bars?" I look at Justin and ask him what he is talking about. He says, "The mall." I responded, "Oh-I thought you meant that we were taking HK to a bar, and I was wondering when the plans changed." For the record, I was also thinking that I am NOT going to take her to a bar. This is a true story. Sad isn't it?

Then we are walking through the mall, and Justin says, "Where are you going to be? I need to run to the bathroom." My response? "Is it poop or pee?" Yes, these words just came out of my mouth before I realized what I was saying. He just looked at me and said, "OK-I am not HK, but if you must know, it is pee." Seriously, since when do I care about the specifics of his bodily functions? I don't now and I didn't before-it was just this new mom inbred response thing.

Oh-the joys of motherhood.

Thursday, April 23, 2009


So-I am paying bills this evening, entering each and every transaction into our monthly budget spreadsheet, when I come across the strangest entry. It reads "Havoc Heli NY."

See, Justin uses the credit card that pays you back a percentage for each charge. I use the airline card for points. Both good perks. We USED to only use the airline card, until they angered me. Angered is an understatement actually.

My mom told me that I could go anywhere for my 30th birthday. London, Ireland, Alaska-just her and me. I picked New York City. I have a facination with it. Maybe it is a Sex and the City thing, but I really love the feel of the city. Of THAT city. I had only been there twice before-once for work and once on a fantastic girls' trip with my mom in law and sisters. Both trips were just short enough to make me realize how much I was not able to do. So, I wanted to go back.

We shopped-we ate. In fact, we pictorially logged all of our meals. Here are a few of the highlights-

Found Grits in New York-and they weren't bad either!

Anyhoo-We also found Manolo. Now, you would think that the actual Manolo store would be adorned with roses and diamonds. Nope. In fact, I walked past it. It is a door with a little itty bitty sign-tiny sign. Seriously-I was looking for the store and walked past it. Have no fear, I found it after a bit of looking and did a little bit of damage. It was in doing this damage that the credit card people made me exorcist angry. They DECLINED my card in the middle of Manolo Blahnik. YES THEY DID. Why you ask? They thought the card was stolen. Now, you might think this is a nice perk-they look out for you as a customer of theirs. NO NO NO NO!!!!! I was in Target the week before (I am an equal opportunity shopper) and purchased an electronic for $400, and they declined the card then because they thought it was an excessive amount for a GROCERY STORE. WHAT?!?!?! Guess what credit card genius people? Target only started selling groceries-they have sold other things for a long time, including electronics. After 15 minutes on the phone in the check out line at Target verifying every county I have ever lived in, they allowed the transaction. So, I made a point to call and let the credit card company know that I would be in New York and that it was indeed my little self making purchases.

So, when they declined the card at Manolo, I politely excused myself to the loveliest court yard in the back of the store-yes...there is an actual little garden there!!!!...and yelled at the credit card people. It took 45 minutes and 3 phone calls for the transaction to finally go through. Talk about mortifying. Especially when a girl came in and tried on 4 pairs of shoes and told the sales clerk to send them home and pranced out. What a life. I want to go to her home and live in her closet undetected. Even after this debacle, the card was still declined at most other stores-Olive and Bette's, French Connection, Brooks Brothers...it just did not stop. So, I made sure to find a new credit card company when I got home. But, then I had a hard time giving up the airline miles. I mean, if I was not earning points, how would I get back to my favorite city to visit but not live in? So, I told myself that if it happened ONE MORE TIME, I would cancel the card. Guess what? It has not happened again-not even when traveling. I truly think they were testing me-messing with my account-so they could use my phone calls as training tools for the new folks. "Here is how to handle a completely indignant, irate customer who is being denied the most fabulous shoes in the world."

The WHOLE point of this is that Justin uses one card and I use another, and that is how that came about. So-I find this charge on his card and am very curious-he tends to be a pretty predictable charger-it is all food. And, not all kinds of food, but the same food. He eats the same things over and over and over again.
I put the description "Havoc Heli" into the google search bar. Up come these ads for this tiny little remote controlled helicopter. Seriously-this cannot be something that Justin ordered. I have never heard of this thing, and he is not a 10 year old boy. He is 34 years old and JUST had his birthday. He did NOT mention anything about wanting a Havoc Heli for a gift. The card must have been stolen. It had to have been. We are officially the victims of identity theft. We will be telling our story on tv one day. It will be about how I had to sell my Manolos to make money to cover the charges from our identity theft nightmare. We were sucked dry by people buying toys.

So, Justin gets home and I ask him, "Did you order something called a Havoc Heli?" I just know that he is going to tell me no or tell me that it is something for the yard and NOT really a mini helicopter. He just looks me right in the eye and says, "Yes." HUH? He continues, "Someone at work had one and it was the coolest thing. So, I ordered one." REALLY? First of all, what in the heck are you people doing with mini helicopters at work? Do you work in the 2nd grade at perpetual PE class? His eyes got HUGE, and he asks "Did it arrive!!??"

I say, "You just had a birthday" He says, "Yes, but this is something I wanted to do for myself. It is my birthday gift to myself."

REALLY......well, if that is how we do things.
Did I mention that my birthday is next month?

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Gab Fest

See-I told you that she has no idea she does not feel well. Here we are after having a diaper change. She just wanted to talk and talk and talk and talk. She gets a little shy when the camera is on, but she warms up to it. I just couldn't resist-I thought it was too funny and too cute! It is 2 minutes long-and no, she does not do anything completely different at the end-it is just a little example of some chat time. I will have to try and catch her when she is not trying to figure out what the camera is.

Sunday, April 19, 2009

Dreams, Dog Puke, and Tylenol

Apparently it is the time of year for sickness. For the little ones, that is.

By little ones, I am referring not only to my little 3 month old but also to the 7 year old fuzzy baby. Yes, the dog ate a bone. You know, most dogs chew on bones-not mine. He actually ate the entire beef bone. A large beef bone. In less than 10 minutes. Gone. I only discovered that he ate said bone because of the small shards of bone he left behind as evidence of his stealthy bone stealing. He took the bone from Ollie, who chews on it as a dog should, and ate it out of doggie spite so that Ollie could not have it. He is not the most gracious dog guest.

So, 6 hours later-let the puking begin. And again 12 hours later. In our bed. Between Justin's legs. Needless to say, I discovered that the dog was throwing up because Justin woke me up-screaming. I won't go into any more details other than to say that we threw the sheets in the bathtub-it was the only logical thing to do at 5:15 am.

So, I called the vet-and they made me rush him in. Apparently they were worried about an "obstruction." Well, I could have told them that he did not have an obstruction-it was all coming out JUST FINE all over my house. But, better safe than sorry. So, over $200 later, he has to take 3 different meds a day and eat bland food. WHICH, he is not happy about. He is quite a food connoisseur.

Then, I am feeding HK this afternoon, and I think that she feels a little warm. Yep-she has a fever. 100.2 to be exact. Problem is that Justin calls for advice-his mom and the doc-and tells them that she has a fever of 102-NOT 100 POINT 2. Big difference. Luckily, she has NO IDEA that she does not feel well. She is laughing and cooing...just happy happy!

So, the dog is fine, and HK is napping and taking infant Tylenol. Then, the phone calls from Granny begin. She had a dream and needs me to look up the interpretation in my dream book. I have no idea why she knows that I have this dream book, but she frequently calls me for interpretations. Sometimes I make them up - but I only do that if I look up the actual interpretation and it is something that I don't want to tell her.

For instance, her last dream involved her breaking her left arm. Dream interpretation:

To dream that your arm has been injured, signifies your inability to care for yourself or your helplessness in reaching out to others. You may have been feeling limited and restricted in terms of your freedom or activities. Your left arm signifies your supportive or nurturing nature and is associated with feminine qualities. (http://www.dreammoods.com/dreamthemes/bodyparts.htm)
Well-I am NOT going to tell my 87 year old granny that! So, the interpretation became:
To dream that your arm has been injured signifies your desire to reach out and help others because you are supportive and nurturing and you feel like you have not been doing a good job at helping others. You are very happy.
She lives with my parents, so any time a dream could possibly be construed against my mom, I alter it. One time a dream of hers meant that she felt trapped in her surroundings. That one also got changed to something along the lines of - you feel very happy where you are and well cared for. See-everyone is happy in the end.
So, dreams, dog puke, and infant Tylenol.......welcome to my world.

Monday, April 13, 2009

New Items I Love

So, I just feel like I don't have a lot to blog about lately. I mean, I can tell you all about our CRAZY Easter of hopping from one house to another, one meal to another, but let's face it-that is really not all that exciting.
So, I think that I will tell you all about my favorite picks for the week. Baby items that you must have...

First of all, let me remind you that I am NOT a germ-a-phob. I am trying to become one, however. So, I am in LOVE with the Germ Guardian Nursery Sanitizer. I can put in toys, pacifiers, whatever.

HK just turned 13 weeks old-can you believe it?? So, Easter candy is not quite appropriate for her basket (but it IS for her mother's). So, I got her Babycandy instead! If I could monogram EVERYTHING HK has and wears, I would. I am trying to convince her Geeg to buy a monogramming machine thing. This little onesie comes packaged up like a piece of candy with a nutrition label on it. And-it has a little "H" on the necklace. http://www.babycandystore.com/

AND-we all know that I have a shoe thing. Some may consider it an obsession. My cousin sent me this link, and I am now blaming her for enabling my "hobby." These are the CUTEST baby shoes in the world - http://www.graciousmay.com/ They will even make adult sizes for you!!!!!

HK is really long, and she is outgrowing so many of her onesies and other snap clothes in length, so I found these add a size garment extenders on my favorite website- www.onestepahead.com These add length and lifespan to one piece outfits. I mean, how much more economical can I possibly be?

So, there you have it. My MUST HAVES for the week! Enjoy!!

Sunday, April 5, 2009

What a Week

Well-my Nana passed away last Sunday. It has been quite the week. We were there with her in hospice when she passed. It is the strangest thing to watch a person pass from this life to the next. I thought the same thing when my Granddaddy passed away. I am not sure what I expect-fireworks, a chorus of angels to appear...but it is just such a smooth transition. I am just amazed that a person goes from life to eternal life -just like that. It makes you realize how fragile life is, how quickly it is given and taken. How we should not take it for granted.

On a more positive note, HK has started to roll over. Yes, it is true. She is growing up. *sigh* And, she has outgrown the "newborn" size clothing. Again, *sigh*.

And on a more negative note, the whole diet thing is, ummm, yeah. My friend Patra is having a Wednesday weigh in-and I am going to participate. I am. It was just a bad week to begin this whole publish my weigh gain or loss to the world. I do feel like I need to give a little background on how my former size 0-2 frame became a size 8 frame.

I have a very rare eye disease thingy called PIC. Basically, I begin losing my vision in my left eye due to an inflamation in my retina. They do not know what causes it, and I am only about the 51st reported case of it. It all started about 6 years ago-I woke up one morning to begin work and I COULD NOT read the computer screen. It was just really blurry. So, I cleaned my contacts, threw out the contacts and put in new ones-nothing helped. When I covered up my right eye and looked out my left, there was a big black hole in the middle of my vision. So, after a trip to the eye doctor and a retinal specialist, I was finally diagnosed. The treatment? 60 mg of prednisone. THAT is A LOT of prednisone. And, I am on it for a long, long time because I have to do a slow taper of the medication or my eye condition reactivates.

During my first treatment, I had more energy than I have ever had in my whole life. So, I used this new found energy to begin working out. I was a rock star, and I lost some weight and got into great shape. Prior to this first treatment, I was a size 4-6. I had just gotten married and began a new position that required weekly travel with a cookie company. So, I had put on some weight and became a full blown cookie snob. But, I got the weight off. I was on this round of steroids for almost a full year.

After that, the weight slowly crept back on, but I was still around a size 4-6. Then, about a year ago after 4 years of 20/20 vision, the eye issue came back. So, back on the steroids. Well, this time-NO ENERGY. In fact, I have never been so tired in my whole entire life. I put on 15 additional pounds on top of the weight I needed to lose. And, I could not get the 15 off.

So, the eye is healed and good to go, UNTIL about 2 months ago. Guess what? It's BAAAACCCKKK. So, here I am AGAIN on enough steroids to kill a cat. And-no energy. And-a HUGE appetite. AND-I am CRAVING sweets. So, I basically CANNOT put another 15 on top of the 15 on top of the 15. HOW FRUSTRATING!!!!

So, I am hoping that the added potential humiliation of sending Patra my weekly weight update will be motivation. She lost weight this week-YEA for her! She has motivation-an upcoming wedding!!!! So, here we go again! Wish me luck!!!!!

Saturday, March 28, 2009

My Nana

This has been quite the week. I have often used this blog to vent and express, but it truly is a means of therapy for me.

I have always loved writing-I was an English/writing major in college. It is the most effective way for me to express myself-especially since I often do not say the right words.

I have avoided writing about this topic this week because it is difficult - but I feel like I need to get it off of my chest.

My Nana is dying. She is in hospice. She will pass-soon. I saw her on Sunday, and she was fine. Justin and I took HK to visit with her. The weird part of this is that on Saturday night, I had this OVERWHELMING desire to visit with her on Sunday. Thank goodness we went because she was admitted to the hospital on Monday and was unresponsive and in hospice on Tuesday. How quickly life can be given and taken.

I have to explain a little bit about why this is weird. I love my Nana. I admire her more than I admire most women. She is strong-probably the strongest woman I have known. She has lived with demons that I cannot fathom. She raised 5 incredible children-one of whom is my father. She has a temper and a gentle spirit about her. She is sweet and kind and assertive. She is a complete contradiction of personality traits. I got this from her.

I am not as close to her as some of her other grandchildren, and I have a lot of guilt about this. I am just thankful that I have a relationship with her and that I became more comfortable with her in the last few years. I know that sounds strange - being more comfortable with her - but I learned to just accept her for who she is and not be uncomfortable or upset with her faults.

I am sad that I don't have more time. I am sad that she is young and is leaving us. I am sad that I won't get her homemade frozen custard or fudge at Christmas. I am sad that HK won't get to spend more time with her great grandmother. I am sad that we are losing such a strong woman.

I am grateful that I am like her. I am grateful that I have her recipes. I am grateful that I have pictures of her from Sunday with HK. I am grateful that she made me assertive. I am grateful that she always had ice cream in her freezer. I am grateful that she loved and accepted her entire family without reservation. I am grateful that I am organized and a clean freak like her. I am grateful that her temper and demeanor are legendary.

I am proud that she is my Nana. I will miss her tremendously.

Thursday, March 26, 2009

Spies And Big Girl Beds

Another milestone - but I don't think that it is really much of one for HK. I think it is more of a milestone for her parents. She has moved upstairs to her crib. Yes, she is officially out of the bedroom. At least at night. At least for tonight. At least this is the plan.

The decision was made this morning when HK awoke at 6 am. This is not much of an issue except that she has been doing this for the past few mornings. It finally occurs to me that she is waking up when Justin's alarm goes off. So, I felt that it was time to move her to her own room. See, Babywise talks about babies waking up about 1-2 hours earlier than they had been around the 3 month mark and warns not to react or this earlier hour will become the normal wake up time. Well, all who know me know the importance of sleep in my life. Not to be a selfish person, but I feel that if we are scheduling here, I should get some say so in it. So, 6 am is not my time of choice. 7 is, however.

We will see how this goes.

I was not worried about it (a little sad-yes. It's like she is growing up and moving out or something)-until I talked to my mom. Mom says that I should sleep upstairs since this is her first night in her new big bed. Again, it's like we are moving her to a California King or something in Alabama. Mind you, I also have a video monitor-WITH night vision. So, I can see little miss and hear her just fine. But MOM says, "Well, what if the electricity goes out?" So-now I am actually sitting here debating whether or not I need to actually sleep in the adjoining room in case I need to rescue my baby from ...... um, a night of unaired sleep.

There are two channels on the video monitor. The first time I turned on the handheld receiver, I was greeted with the sleeping face of SOMEONE ELSE'S BABY!!!! The other channel fuzzily aired yet another toddler. I was tempted to post a sign in HK's bassinet that read, "I see you too," just in case we also have spies.

So, the next night, I show the neighborhood children to Justin-but I was all upset because it was almost 10pm and neither child was in his perspective beds. So, then I begin criticizing their phantom parents and their parenting, disciplining, scheduling skills because these two kids should be in bed by now sleeping. Geez.

Don't get all judgemental, though. I do not watch these kids at all. It was just these two times-and maybe a few more to just show other people who visit that I have a spy tech device in my house that is sold and disguised as a baby monitor.

Monday, March 23, 2009

Product/Gadget Favs of the Week

Favs of the week!!!!!

Rose Marie Petroleum Jelly.

Now, I am actually not a petroleum jelly fan. I mean-PETROLEUM. and JELLY. Yes-if you think about it, this is a completely accurate description of its contents. It coats and blocks the skin from breathing. This is a BAD thing for those of us trying to prevent wrinkles, but I realize that it is not the most awful thing for diaper rash. Rose Marie has mink oil in it-it soothes and provides great diaper rash relief, and it is wonderful for your lips as well! Just keep it sanitary people.

I found this cool thingy, the DigitsaverTM Door Pinch Guard. I got the monkey. Brilliant idea. I assume that I will have some windows open at some point with this warmer weather, and I want to air out the house for Spring. This creates PRIME door slamming conditions. Also, HK will eventually learn how to close her door-and lock it. This will also prevent that from becoming an issue. Look how cute-from Amazon.

And-HK received THE BEST GIFT EVER!!!! It is the kickin' coaster and you can find it on onestepahead.com. A friend recommended this-and she just goes to town kickin' those little legs! (No, this is not my baby-mine is much cuter).

Again-I don't make the rules here-there are just some things a girl cannot live without!

Thursday, March 19, 2009

THE D-word

I seriously have to just bite the bullet here. It is time. Fun is over-no more games. No more ignoring. No more avoiding this one little word....


I am going on a diet. And, I truly hope that typing it right here right now on this page will force me to be serious about it.

My biggest problem? I will not lie-I LIKE bad food. I truly enjoy fast food. I crave cookie dough. I actually got up the other evening after I thought I was in bed for the night because I was craving chocolate chip cookie dough. I made some from scratch, ate half of it and froze the other half for future cookie dough cravings and self-medication.

I have had more pictures taken of me in the last 2 months since HK's arrival than I have ever in my life. And-I have to say that I am actually SHOCKED when I see myself in these photos. How is that possible, you ask? Well-apparently I am the QUEEN of denial. The QUEEN of self-preservation. The QUEEN of confidence and self-love. I have made it all right to look the way that I do because I have allowed it and told myself that it is all right. So, all of this love has given me 30 additional pounds TO love. And, since I am also a master of fluctuation, some days only 30 additional pounds would be just dandy.

Well-my friends, NO MORE.

Again-the more caps I use and the more I type it, the more I will have to pay attention to it. I am hoping that tomorrow when I am out and about delivering samples and such for work and pass by a fast food restaurant at lunch time, I will say to myself, "No, eat the fiber bar in your purse that you brought along for such moments of temptation and weakness because you BLOGGED about dieting. You must at least try for the sake of those poor people who actually read your whoa is me reel, fatty."

So-here's to another day. I will try to actually count points and be a responsible, calorie counting adult. God love those who will be dealing with me for the next few weeks while my stomach shrinks. Here's to "lifestyle changes!!!"

Friday, March 13, 2009

An Apple A Day

Two month doc visit for a newborn.

Bad day for the two month old.

REALLY bad day for 2 month old's mother.

In fact, I am not certain that I can ever make her go to the doctor again. I am notorious for being a needle phob. When I was little, they had to bring in nurses to hold me down for a throat culture. A small army had to come in for a blood draw and the entire national guard for a shot. Unfortunately, I haven't gotten much better with age. While I have come to realize that it is quite unattractive to watch a 30ish (yes, ish...) year old make a complete fool of herself in the doc office over a shot, it still crosses my mind. I could take them all. Somewhere in my 20s however, I discovered that you could "decline" blood draws. So, I managed to go several years and through several annual check ups without blood work ups. Seems stupid to most, but I think that it is stupid to stick your arm out and willingly let someone prick through your skin with a sharp object-a FOREIGN object-that makes you bleed and bruise. SO THERE.

Needless to say, when it came time for HK's 2 month visit and vaccines, Justin went as well. They stuck that poor little peanut in the thighs with 3 shots-and the look of complete confusion, then realization, then PAIN....it was just awful. That little face turned a purple, red. The wide open mouth-no noise, silent scream.......then the high pitched shrieking wail. I am thinking "Breathe, Breathe." This mantra I keep repeating-for HK and myself. I hear myself saying at that moment in my head, "My poor little baby, you will NEVER have to go to the doctor again. Never ever ever." I am going to become Jenny McCarthy and swear off modern medicine.

I had to stop and buy her a little gift on the way home from the appointment-just to show her that I love her and did not let that mean nurse hurt her for no good reason. So, she did wind up with the cutest pink little jumper and a frilly white blouse. Now that we have had a few days to relax from this horrific event, I know that HK will return to the doctor's office and live to see another day. But good gracious-can't they just make all of those vaccines drinkable?


Ahhh-first week back on the job.



I knew that I would not be one of those moms who was completely distraught and lost when I have to leave my little baby with her grandparents, but I did not expect for it to be such a bummer for sure. I am constantly being surprised by this motherhood thing, and I am surprised that I like being a mom so much. I knew I would like having children, and I figured that I would like my children most of the time, but I did not expect to really LOVE being a mom as much as I do. That is a shocker to me. Again, she does not talk back yet, so remind me of this warm fuzziness in about 3 years.

I think that a huge difference between adopting and physically carrying a child comes with the moments of bonding. I am still amazed that HK can pick my face out of the several in front of her, lock in on me, and smile just for me. I am amazed when she turns to find me when she hears my voice. I LOVE IT. When you never get to feel a kick or the first butterflies of pregnancy, these are the first signs you have that you are someone's mom. It is just validation.

I know this seems like, duh...but it is really and truly in these moments of recognition in my little baby's face that I find such pure pleasure and happiness. I know that mom's everywhere understand. But, it is just these little things that make it all worthwhile.

I finally caught some of her first smiles on camera-this was for her dad. Enjoy!

Sunday, March 8, 2009

The Newest Craze

I think I have it. By golly-I really think I have it!! The newest exercise rage...I am envisioning infomercials and all.

Yes-today I experienced the dreaded "Spanx" workout. Just trying to put them on burns over 1000 calories. It has to. And, if you are the faint of heart type, just stop reading right here. Just stop, because it does not get pretty. AT. ALL.

I am perpetually 10 minutes late. Always. And, I truly try to be on time. I really do. It is just not in me. 10 minutes late-it is my thing. So, over the weekend I am getting ready for the most lovely baby shower that was thrown for me and HK. I am running late. I am trying to get myself ready while running around like a chicken with my head cut off. See, HK is making an appearance at the conclusion of the shower. So, I am also barking out orders to poor hubby regarding HK's shoe selection and which ones match the dress I have laid out. Enter hubby-looking like his head is going to spin out of control with the words tights, white and pink crib shoes, and bloomers, rolling all around in it.

I am almost ready-just have to put the clothes on. I am one of those people who gets BURNING UP HOT while getting ready. The build up of hair dryers and flat irons just sends my body temp into the sweltering degree field. So, now I am barking orders to hubby to grab my dress that is hanging, take off the tags, grab my black pumps...and I am putting the first foot in the spanx. My heat, my fat, and my lotion that I just put on are completely fighting against the already unrelenting spandex fabric. Poor hubby just stops and stares. I can only imagine what he is thinking. Something like, "Huh, now I really understand what they mean by muffin top." But people, this is not a muffin top. This is every ounce of fat and skin I have being moved from my toes to my boobs. I am the human equivalent of an orange push up pop. Problem is, I am trying to gracefully put this contraption on and suck in at the same time so as to not completely scar the dear man for life. Not working. So, I have to suck it up-literally, and just ask for help.

So, I begin barking more commands, "Help me!! Help me!!!" He is aghast. He is horrified. I am flailing like a wet, sweaty fish. He grabs the waistband of the Spanx which have only made it to my mid thighs at this point and starts yanking up. I figure that the best way to help is to jump up and down and maybe between the two of us, I can get myself in the Spanx. I jumped, he pulled...we finally won the battle.

I was sweating even worse by the time it was over, but seriously-that was a workout. I could sell this. I might have to when my husband leaves me for a thin woman who has never heard of Spanx.