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Friday, March 13, 2009

Smiley

Ahhh-first week back on the job.

Done.

Difficult-yes.

I knew that I would not be one of those moms who was completely distraught and lost when I have to leave my little baby with her grandparents, but I did not expect for it to be such a bummer for sure. I am constantly being surprised by this motherhood thing, and I am surprised that I like being a mom so much. I knew I would like having children, and I figured that I would like my children most of the time, but I did not expect to really LOVE being a mom as much as I do. That is a shocker to me. Again, she does not talk back yet, so remind me of this warm fuzziness in about 3 years.

I think that a huge difference between adopting and physically carrying a child comes with the moments of bonding. I am still amazed that HK can pick my face out of the several in front of her, lock in on me, and smile just for me. I am amazed when she turns to find me when she hears my voice. I LOVE IT. When you never get to feel a kick or the first butterflies of pregnancy, these are the first signs you have that you are someone's mom. It is just validation.

I know this seems like, duh...but it is really and truly in these moments of recognition in my little baby's face that I find such pure pleasure and happiness. I know that mom's everywhere understand. But, it is just these little things that make it all worthwhile.

I finally caught some of her first smiles on camera-this was for her dad. Enjoy!


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